P, O and B.
Folks. There are way too many words we forget about in our everyday lives. Lets start with Pessimism:
P is for pessimism. There is nothing wrong with being a pessimist or believing mainly in pessimism. Its just a word that people use to categorize something or someone, but in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with it. Sometimes I can be pessimistic, only for a minute, or maybe a few more minutes. I can't remain there. My attention span and need to stimulate the positive side of me always wins out, so I choose not to be primarily pessimistic even though its okay to be.
O is for Optimism. Or optimist. I'm primarily optimistic. I'm afraid to admit I hurt sometimes, or that I fail sometimes, but not for the reason you think. I'm primarily optimistic remember, so in my head....pain does not last, it cannot last even though it is a part of life, I'm too optimistic to allow pain to be my reason. I love the word Optimism. I even respect Pessimism just because I can.......I'm an optimist after all.
Supposing say you're like....what the pu is she talking about up there? I'm neither....supposing you believe......you are neither optimistic or pessimistic....In my opinion, for my own purposes, I'm going to say you are a "Btweener". Yes.
Its not exactly between but you got your B pronounced out. Its somewhere in the middle, not exactly spelt like between, so its not between, its "Btween", you're in my book a "btweener". I'm a btweener sometimes, but after a while I go back to being an optimist. Btween, Btweener, Btweenism, Btweenist. You might not think this is a serious word, it probably already exist but I think its pretty cool whether it already exist or doesn't. Thanks.
EP, WH, MJ and EB.
EP stands for Elvis Presley. I was first introduced to him through his Christian music as a child. I was maybe....8. I fell in love with the that vinyl record, and many others. We played a lot of gospel in my house when I was a kid sometimes, so I knew a lot of gospel songs and his songs were among them.
I didn't know who he really was until I came here to the US and found out he actually did rock and pop. So EP had an impact in my mind to me. I saw beauty, heard beauty in his music long ago.
JA can be tough sometimes but when me and my family came together it wasn't always because we were about to be scolded for getting in the mud or being too noisy, it was because music brought us together so I remember him mostly because his songs were real nice on that vinyl. It stuck with me.
WH stands for Whitney Houston. So one time me and friend was about to walk home from school, and she tapped me on the shoulder and was like, "We are going to sing as many songs as we know and if I beat you, I will know more songs than you." I tried to keep up with her as she went from one song to the next but I was bested.
From then on I found as many songs as I can to listen to and TGLOA was one of my favorites. Same for MJ, which stands for Michael Jackson. I was a kid when I found secular music and that was the music along with many others that came on the radio.
Well, I wasn't going to walk around school not knowing songs after that episode. I had to have a few in my arsenal. No one would be able to say I didn't know enough songs if she tried again. Even though we forgot about that and still went on to be kids but just in case anyone tried, I would have some songs ready to go. I do not feel bad for loving their music. They gave to me when I needed it, they made me re-imagine love and beauty many times through their music.
Let me address the word sellout. I know the word is used when referring to other human beings sometimes in many industries not just music, What is a sellout? Answer: A sellout is you and me. If you insist on knowing my definition of that horrible word, that's what it is in my opinion when you refer to someone as that.
You are referring to yourself and us as society. So if we are to address our human fellows as that at any time lets make sure we get ourselves in it first. Have you ever bought anything? then you are a sellout, yes even your biscuit.
You see, someone made it for you to buy, and they sold it to you and you bought. You partook ----- so thanks for allowing me to let you know how I feel about that word.
A lot of people hear music, and do not know what artists have to deal with, what goes on in their personal lives. All you see is the best of them which is exactly what we want you to see as that is who we are most of us artists. We want you to see the best of us, all or most artists want you to see what they are which is their art. I personally will not refer to anyone as that word because I cannot refer to myself or anyone I know as that, that is just my stance. May the souls above rest in peace.
EB stands for Eric Butterworth. You may be wondering why I mention a spiritual teacher in this same post. Might I add that if you are not ready to look into yourself, don't go looking for EB. This spiritual teacher is very blunt and straight forward.
A word about spiritual teachers is this, they might not like you, they might not sit with you, they might not even shake your hand.....but they know you better than you know yourself sometimes.
They know the value of human beings, so therefore they are the way they are because they have a mission and that is to teach us who we really are. EB changed my life in ways I can't explain, it would be like three extra posts and maybe some more.....suffice to say he is just another one of the spiritual teachers that guided me to true artistry. Thanks for reading.
I'm vegetarian 99.99% of the time. My kids are not vegetarian. They insist they cannot be at this point and that I can't make them. So, I'm leaving that alone for now.
The other 1% is that I have fish and dairy. So, we are going to have to knock off one of my nines up there for my sake, so now that would make me vegetarian 98.99%.
There is one particular meat that I cannot and don't want to resist. I am not going to tell you what it is. I limit myself to eating it two or three times a year, so now that makes me vegetarian even less more so by 1%......Now I'd say I'm 97.99% vegetarian, call that Kyadritarian. (Keye-a-dri-ta-rian), or (Ki-a-dri-ta-rian).
Spelt other ways if you want. But its my word....because, its so hard to be a vegetarian in the first place, I often ask myself why....and I came up with, "kyadritarian." Practice makes things more striving towards perfect. It's my way of having the best of both worlds limited. I bless my food and give thanks. Thanks for reading.
So, I've mentioned some opinions on here, they may or may not be what you expect me to be saying....but, I am an artist and one of the duties we have is to stay true. There is another opinion, I believe artists should stay true as much as possible. Now...Opinions though including mine just don't matter. They never did.
Except to those who have them, and all of us have an opinion on something....so I guess they do matter then right? except it is still an opinion, a thought so people can choose to agree or disagree.
This is a blog, I promised myself....not you, although that translates as a promise to you as well, but I promised myself that if I was going to have the audacity to maintain, upload and post to a blog, it was going to be me and my honesty. However, honesty means I will share some things honestly and some things I can't or won't talk about as that is my choice too. I respect opinions though, most of them. I do. Everyone can utilize their choices differently as that too is your choice.
The policy of my brand is to respect others no matter who they are. I'm sorry that you did not expect me to be this way. But I am this way. I can't always be super nice, but I can say that if I like or I don't like you, you can just bet, I still respect you.
I hope you don't mind that I must come back from time to time and touch on my other blogs, so I want to say I can't very well tell you or recommend something and say anything risky on here without taking responsibility.
You choose to do what you want with what you read on here. I want you to find my work, and my blog, but I want you to get a sense of who I am. I cannot come on my blog inebriated in anyway as I wouldn't be able to write well and connect with you well, I wouldn't be able to be as honest as I would like to be as I would be impaired.
Also, even though I agree with some things and will believe what I choose to believe, it doesn't mean I'm going to come on here and not take care of you. My aim is to take care of you if you read my blog or buy anything of mine. I want people to come on here and understand there is no judgement here.
I want you to know, that I also will not use my blog to judge and put anyone down as what I say on here is meant for either uplifting or learning or learning more about me. So, if you indulge in anything as I sometimes do socially or otherwise.....make sure to detox.
Say for instance you have something really important coming up.....you want to give it your best, like I give my blog and work the best of me....say you are choosing something briefly, like you want all traces of liquor or whatever you had in your system out....you see, I won't be able to tell you something is okay to do....without telling you how to take care of yourself or how to un-choose what I say on here.
Detoxing is a great way to get your system going again. I detox a full day before I come and write to you. I know that it doesn't get everything out within say a day or two but you can still detox your body for whatever you need at will whenever you want.
So I detox before writing on here even if its a short one, and come to you as honestly as I can in my writing....Its just me, how do I do it?....I drink two to three bottles of water, I juice and get my natural juices elsewhere you can find a juice shop and make it your regular because once in a while you need those veggies and fruits to do their work even if you are not a fan of juices, there are many other things to flush your system from contaminants, you can just start your own regimen and be safe.
Rest is also important. It just might be the most overlooked but you can't detox the short way without getting some rest. This blog is referring to the short detoxing, there are longer and more solid ways to detox, but I'm just saying you can jump start sobriety if you choose it, or if you choose it for whatever duration you desire.
So it is okay to chose to do something, but just know that you have to take care of your body and brain and with that....you do good to it. I'm not a big fan of fasting, but I do it.
You can fast for a few hours, twenty four, or forty eight, you can let your system recover every once in a while whatever works for you. My point is, I meet myself in the middle because choice is a beautiful thing. We all have it and we can choose to live our lives by choosing how we wish to live it, no matter the circumstances.
I wrote a post earlier, about defending homes with fists and how valiant that is to me. It truly is very valiant. But at the same time, dare I even go further here without an exception..... the exception is for those who gave their lives for freedom all over the world by defending us in whatever way they had to. It is true I don't like wars, not in the least because its devastating....however, I can't discount the people who did make us be free, the trial and error systems that allowed freedom to flourish especially here. Some of those folks are no longer here, some are wounded, they have to live with that, their families and friends also have to live with it, and we should live with it too, by honoring them. In any way you can. If it was for freedom, it was worth it. Everything I know today, I know because someone, some folks before me fought for it from the smallest to the biggest of ways.
I try not to forget. I don't always say it, but if something is important to me, I can bet I am not the only one it matters to. If its super important, it will most likely end up on this blog if its personal to me, I will put it on here or put as much as I can within reason. Most people know someone who saved them in some way.
Well I know a few people, in time I can try to list some of them but not all of them as some are very personal to me. Also, I can't list them all because there would be too many starting with my mom. Anyway, take some time someday to thank them in your hearts if you can't do it personally. If they changed your perspective to make you be better in anyway, then they have done most if not all what they were meant to do even if they don't know it. Thanks.
As in "Pu" Leeze. You can't "puleeze" everyone, because you are one person. I know this type first hand like....this is a muse. I once had a professor who I tried very hard to "puleeze", as in, show up on time, answer all his questions, turn in work, work extra and I still got a "D." This was shocking to me, because I had already set it in my head that a D will never get to me on my transcript....say wot? me>?....no way.
Then he gave me a D. Turns out, half his students couldn't "puleeze" him just like me. He regularly failed half his class so he could be known maybe as a tough guy. He couldn't know that some people just really didn't like the way he taught as word got around that he is just this way and has been for a long time its how I found out.
Anyway you can't please everyone all the time. I maybe needed that D, it put a great dent in my expectations even though I am not cynical, I can't be its not my nature. Case in point, don't let a D get you to think that you are actually a D because you are not and neither am I, never was. D is just a letter, as is A, B and C. All it means is you can do much better if you desire that for yourself. And a D in this post is symbolic because I mean to say, you may give yourself a D in how you handle things but you learn don't you? or at least I try to, and then I try some more because all you can do is try.
I really wanted a Journalism degree to start out with, but it was not meant to be, after exhausting my aid, they were telling me I still had one more class to take if I really wanted to go for Journalism, but they told me I could graduate right then if I turned it into a "Communications" degree, they would just subtract the one class. I thought about it for a while, after coming that far, I allowed them to subtract the class. I could have given myself a D for that decision but I can't really. In my heart I know I did the right thing, so I'm grateful anyway for the experience.
And now, I mention the great L.P. I heard of his passing. I didn't know him, have never met him, but he was in my living room when I was a teen. All of us know him or know of him, I wish him well. RIP.
How do I start this?........... I'm trying to reconcile the fact that I was an Atheist and now I'm not, how does that even work? when I know just how easy it is to lose belief in whatever you believed in once.
No offense to those who believe what they believe and their minds can't be changed. That means all of us. All of us believe in something. I stumbled on a man called Dr. Wayne Dyer. I try to be spiritual but .....I be failing. Anyway I found him, this is another author you should know if you don't know him besides Maya Angelou and my mother Glasme Parker.
Many people know him, I'm just saying if you don't try to find him and his work. They were helpful to me in many ways. If he could have done what he did, knowing him, I know this man is in heaven. He is actually one of my first spiritual lessons.
After all he has done, I can say he did his job here with us because he made me believe again, among other people. I am pretty secular, if you know what I mean....but with all that said I can't help but reference some of the experiences that were "pivotal" if you will, to me. This is not a promo.
To me, personally, he just belongs on here. With me and you even if you do not read his books or one book. You don't have to read his books because this is not a promo, this is a personal blog for me, I promised that I would tell the truth about what I am saying on here if I were going to put it on here, so I can't put promos on my blog, if I write it on here it is as it is. You just should know his name and be familiar with it at least, so that all the people who have ever mentioned him before this date, they are backed up by me right now, here. I'm not sending you to go buy no books. He was mentioned by them for a reason. Make your own decisions here.
My name is Tracy and welcome to my site and blog page. Thanks for stopping by. On this page I will try to catalogue some things or pivotal moments I feel have made me who I am. There may even be moments that are not so pivotal but more like a muse, a funny memory or otherwise. Be warned though, I may take things off, I may re-edit or remove things. If you happen to read something and it isn't here anymore, its because I am either re-editing, or getting ready to add something else. Also, some of the things I say on here may be understandable and some may not, and sometimes I may not blog or add anything for a while. It's okay with me if you don't understand me or what I write, I mean no ill will in my words or what I write so don't take it personal if it offends you that's just not my aim. My blog or this page is created for me, and for my fans or anyone who wants to come on here and read what I write.