The title may be weird but this is an important piece for me to write for myself.

I am not the type to go back in the past much but sometimes it is necessary to make a point so for this post I will edge the past as little as I can but still try to make my point.

First...do not catch some type of offense by what you see on here. This is not meant to offend you, this is my blog. No one has to read it or nothing, I'm just an artist. You do not have to take anything from here and mention nothing to no one. You do not have to quote if you do not wish to. This is just my views on several topics, and life is still beautiful and worth living.

Lets deal with the Egodique and give it a meaning shall I?
Egodique - (Ego-Deek) The practice of misidentifying with the Ego .

How do I start?

Well....As you know I was a practicing Atheist for at least fifteen years. At some point you count. There is nothing wrong with Atheism let me just say...absolutely nothing wrong.

Why? Because God already knows about it. Remember God is a free choice free will entity.  He still provides us all with our daily bread. Imagine if God was an Atheist which, God is not, he would be subject to our whims, to our little ways and we wouldn't be here. If God created love, then that answers my questions.

I have to tell you as a former practicing Atheist, once bitten by Atheism, it is quite the hardest thing to detach from and that is not explainable mostly.

Its just so simple to be a non believer, it is the better option for some and God already knows why you are the way you are even if you tell no one and no one knows. There is a misconception that Atheism sends you to hell. I assure you....nothing is further from the truth. We are all judged on our individual merits by our Creator when it comes to that. So to judge the Atheist next to you is to judge yourselves. I am of the mind that people can always find their way as I did.

Sometimes, I defend the ego? (shock)

I was an Atheist remember....its quite hard to drop. I am definitely no longer an Atheist and I can not return to it. Like I said no offense its just my life after all. My choice to return to God and that did not come at a small price for me.

In my very own limited opinion, in my limited view of life....I was much more limited while practicing Atheism. I'm going to briefly tell you how Atheism made me think for those years....all fifteen of them and still spilling over now although I reject it.

1)  Love is interchangeable
2) Love should be used to manipulate
3) Love is used to hurt and can be withheld to obtain self's desires
4) Life is completely a self-serving cycle
5) Forgiveness is for suckers and is a weakness
6) Weaknesses are meant to be exploited
7) If someone doesn't do anything for you, why bother help them at all?
8) It is best to put your needs above others at all times
9) Did you say loved one? Don't care, they are to be used  if necessary in order to get what self desires
10) God is a failure in every way
11) God does not exist

Much more, many, many more elements. Too much to list. Too much to explain but you get my gist.

In one of my Atheist moments, I was in a class and working on a public policy paper about the "Daithe" Penalty. Yeah...I miss pelt that but I'm talking about a sentence that takes the lives of our most violent offenders.

I wrote the paper in favor.

Horrified now!

Oh....Oh....Oh....the irony of having to walk that back.

Because I cannot believe I wrote this paper agreeing to it. Briefly, I cannot speak for states and will not. I cannot speak for no one except myself on this. When I found God somewhere in myself again, I just cannot believe in the higher powers and also believe this is the right course. So I must reject the Death Penalty for anyone no matter who. I believe life in prison is simply a better option, that's my opinion.

I know there are reasons we do not see, I know there are states that will not agree. I know that a process ensues and it is not an easy decision to come to. I know that judges who hand it down, they think and they have their own reasoning. Much respect because that is a tough one!

At the time when I was writing the paper....the professor sent it back to me imploring me to change my position. I think he sent it back two or three times. But I was an Atheist, I didn't care what this professor had to say.

I sent it back still reiterating my position. Surprisingly the professor passed the paper. Now that I think about it, why would he fail the paper knowing I would have to take the class again? Why would he want to read such a paper and deal with a student who was....well....you know.....I had my views and at the time they were what they were.

And now...my goodness. Now I just don't believe in it. But no offense to those who do. My irony is that now I am writing a blog opposing it, that is putting that ego back in check.




Thoctor - You know I mean Doctor right?   M + D = Reverence for life savers all over our globe.

Plus, you are Thoctor because your degree is the highest there is....above mine.
(Grrrrr).
Now back to giving you the respect you deserve.


Not only did I wish to put that ego back in check...I want to make a major apology. Yeah apologies are weaknesses too... but not for me. No one can ever say I am a non apologetic person so I'm gonna nip that in the bud right now.

I apologize to any Physician out there who is offended by the threat to your license. I am a citizen and have no business saying what I am saying, but I apologize on behalf of myself and my family, for sending you to school for nearly twelve years, ignorant of what you have sacrificed to maintain your credentials, ignorant of where you are from, what you deal with on a daily basis, the lives you save, the emergencies you fix, the cures you are working to find, the families you are helping, I apologize that we asked you for your sacrifice quite open heartedly and turned around and threatened you.

I only know some terms of MD, but not all.

1) Optometrist.  (That's called, "Is something wrong with your vision? I can help you fix it...I went to school for many years to specialize in helping you".)

2) Internal Medicine. (That's called, "I'm working on a cure to see if I can cure you or make you feel better".)

3) General Practitioner. (That's called, "Come all, I can try to help you figure out what hurts and make some recommendations or referrals".)

4) Family Practitioner. (That's called, "I specialize in taking care of families.")

5) Psychiatrist, Psychologist. (That's called, "I study mind health, I know mostly all there is to know about mental disorders and will try my best to make you feel better".)

6) Surgeons. (That's called, "You may need surgery at some point, I went to school to study how to help you stay alive and healthy if you need it.")

7) Gynecologist, Obstetrics. (That's called, "I love women and babies so much I wanna make you healthy and happy.")

8) Urologist. (That's called, "I love men, lets keep them happy and healthy.")

9) Neurology. (Courtesy of Google I had to look how that one is spelt. That's called by the way...."I study brain. If there is something wrong in there, I can treat it and make you better.")


Many more specialties. Those are just a handful. Apologies again, for putting you through the ringer, and then asking you to break your life saving oath. Just know, that if you as a physician is asked to go against your oath....you are being asked, you are not choosing. Try to keep that in mind if it helps.



Lastly. Another word about a practice that is as extremely important to me as maintaining a credence. The practice of spirituality. Its very difficult because you slip all the time, because now...I believe we are meant to slip....just to show how imperfect we are, but since I revere spiritual teachers I want to make one last observation.

Remember when I said spiritual teachers may not even "shake your hand"?, anyone.....well I did say that in one of my posts. It's still true however with one exception.

The exception is  this....a spiritual teacher in my opinion will not refuse a handshake unless something in them actively prevents it. Spiritual teachers are the physicians of humanity for me. They by definition are the most advanced of all of us not in a medical way, but in a spiritual way. They...know...you...

Their knowledge of humanity comes from somewhere they won't say probably, or can't even explain other than God. Or whatever higher power they believe in. In all honesty, I cannot even see them refusing a call they know was presented to them for whatever reason. So not all of them will refuse it as they know they probably should not.

Sincerely.
Tracy.

oh my gauuud.

Just wanted to say that.

For this post, I want to highlight my mommy. You see, I just must because she is the mother, father, sister, brother, uncle, sam, jen, yellow, orange, green, gold, pesos, arithmay..... oh, arithmay is just because its cute. I think so.

I guess now it can mean a plethora of everything that is good. My mom is the arithmay of me. She taught me everything I know directly and indirectly. I told you before she never gave up on us but that is the understatement of the centuries. All single moms know. We don't just know....we like know s-stuff. Sometimes. We don't get it write. I mean right.

All mothers are Queens. All women are Queens. Dads you are Kings all of you, just because we need you...you know that don't you?

Moms don't get it right all the times. But what we do is love in our way.

I'm a Progressive.

It's because she lived a certain way too. She taught us how to "Come to America." Obviously, its probably not a secret I'm Jamerican and stuff.

I once had a friend, who never had a mother as in she grew up without her mother. That must have been so difficult for her.

Dads day is coming up. She was one of those friends that had your back no matter what. In my opinion, she was as solid a friend as any one could ever have.

But she in her case had a dad. When we went to her house, we were treated well. With respect. Like a part of the family. I am trying to highlight both dads and moms. She had a two parent household, but she still had a dad. In her case, he must have been a great one. In my case, mommmmeeeee. One woman made me learn to love myself in ways I never thought I could. It started with her. She would never ever abandon me. For that, you all know its that one person that just is....for me its her.

I had to do this blog for her. I appreciate her bringing me this way even though life was tough.

Now, back to progress. So....I was a progressive when I came to this country I think....I will simply tell you why already instead of going into a long explanation. I believe in a woman's right to choose. Always. And if I believe that...then I must believe that a woman can make her own decisions at her own will because God gave us the power to do so.

Thanks 4 reeding.

That's right. This post is not about doctors. This post is about me. The first of it that is. Once upon a time...my name is Tracy. Hi.

Depression is apart of life. Now that I have said that, how do I deal with mine? I do things. Like stuff. To occupy. Then at some point I own it. Then I try to guess the reasons why I am feeling the blues and sometimes there are none.

Then, I un-feel the blues. Plenty of things to do so in my opinion, there is never a real good reason to stay depressed in my opinion. How did I come to such a massive conclusion? Remember here....I was mentioning how pessimism can be in one of my other posts. It comes and goes for everyone. Sometimes it stays however long you want it and sometimes its more permanent in nature....how did I arrive at my UN-intened conclusion up there....? I pursued a degree in arts.

That was my first start out. I find that art relaxes me. Most of the times. I find people who are artists to be extremely unique as pursuing the arts gives you a whole arena of avenues to express yourself. That's why I am an artist. I found myself, while continuing my studies, even if I piled on the debt. Now, as far as other careers, you're an artist first too. Think about that.

As I was saying....this post here is about my opinions. Yeah I was born in Jamaica, but I grew up here.

Yeah!

I'm both. In New York there is a name for us and its called Jamerican. No one is to take what I say as the "Whatever" it is you think I mean "it" to be. I don't mean nothing, I just write. Its called expression. But, now we are getting to the real reasons for this post besides me which are not a joke at all.

Whepp

Yeah. I can't bring myself to say the G word. I say it in private for whatever I need to say it for. The G word is the word used to describe a certain deadly metal. It takes the lives of our citizens, even kids. The Constitution gave the right for citizens to have it.

Briefly

So, I just want you to understand why I reach the conclusions I reach. I am not a politician,  I am artist always. But I did learn about the Founding Fathers because I wanted to. They came up with some brilliance that it appears no one else was really able to come up with what they managed at the time they did. Since I wasn't born in that time, I cannot tell you how they shaped America you have to go and see for yourselves. I am going to give you one short reason why I think they are brilliant.....

1) America is mostly free enterprise. If I don't like the service of one business I can simply go to another, and another, or that other one. You don't realize how brilliant that is until you own a business or operate one.

End now...about the Founding Gentlemen. And might I add the times they were constructing that document? They must have had immense push back. They over came it. And not at a low price. That's my opinion.

Back to Whepp.

Its a cold thing, it cannot be fired unless a hand pulls the trig. How do hands get to pull the trig? Well, only they have their reasons.

You know...high school is important. Can high tech inconspicuous metal detectors work at schools and be mandatory? idk...maybe...when parents ask why is this machine in the school or if it scares children its sort of easy to explain to them about whepps and the harm it causes.

1) Maybe being a graduate of high school should be a criteria? Idk...but that's easily checked. GEDs' are the same thing as High School Diplomas.

2) What about raising the age limit for purchases period? idk....but im thinking if you have an age limit for drinking, sellers maybe you can decide on a reasonable mature age for ownership to be possible....this will take care of the "sort of irresponsible" part, so that whepps are not getting into the hands of people that are too young. Like I said IDK here. It might work it might not. Anything is worth it if that can save even one life.

3) What about a job? have they been fired? I know you don't think that's important, but it kind of is. What were the reasons? Check.

4) Ranges are not so bad ideas. (yeah you might think this is overstepping into allowance of something to continue but remember here, the "Constitution". Need I say more? We are living here in this country aren't we? Well, living here, means there is a document directing us how our economy should be. It can't be changed even though it can be amended. There is something in it for every culture. We are a nation of all cultures. It protects us even though it doesn't always work for us individually. In my educated guess, I truly believe the founding ones meant to bring peace, freedom and prosperity. America to me is one of the most prosperous places. We do assist a lot of folks so I hope we continue to do that as world peace does require compromises. Many....many.....many.....many, and then some more. Some compromises are better than others.

5) In my opinion, if someone wants to own a whepp....I would require 60 hours of anger management non-negotiable, more for high risk states. Renewable every 1-3 years makers and sellers can decide how that should work that way makers can protect the sellers and vice versa even if you don't think that's what you are doing. (But no one is going to listen to me and my opinion so don't worry I'm fine with that).

6) In my opinion, (My speech teacher taught me that by the way) she told me how to form my own opinions and own them. Anyway...my opinion is....if citizens want to own whepps....I don't see why 60 or more hours of safety training renewable every 12 months in order to keep your whepps be a bad thing. Like people are at risk, the public....your fellow citizens who support your businesses, they are at risk as long as nothing is done. We can't take the whepps, but you can add as many measures as possible to make it safer to own whepps.

7) In my opinion, there should be categories in which a citizen can own whepps in, is it for hunting? is it for a collection? (I know this is already a measure maybe) but if its for hunting, then who what why where how ... as many details, do they have access to a range instead?

8) In my opinion, the reason why I put the high school thing up there and being a graduate is because school is where you are able to see a child develop into a teen and into an adult....does this child have a history of mental illness? what is their home situation like?

Schools. You are the rock of our communities. I hope you know, that even with all the failures, successes balance that.

9) Finally....Parents. If you own a whepp, is it secure? how sure are you? They inspect homes for lesser things I'm sure, how about your responsibilities for keeping the whepp out of the hands of your children? I am a parent so anything I say...I'm talking about myself when it comes to taking responsibility for something I say. The truth is parents know so much and much much more than the schools do. Do you swear that by purchasing the whepp you have a safe place to store it and lock it away? Do you swear you yourself as a parent do not struggle with depression and mental illness or have a history of mental illness? Do you so swear that you have not purchased the whepp to commit bodily harm against innocents? Purchasers need to take some responsibility as the sellers. You can say you are just a seller, but you are the salesperson of the most deadliest thing humanity bears the brunt of. So its okay for you to actually want to take more responsible measures is all we are asking. Buyers, its your responsibility to own safely so violence doesn't spill out into your communities. You can also opt to purchase blank rounds or bb rounds for even more safety if you so desire. In my opinion, sellers or even manufacturers should be able to make a judgment on whether a particular purchaser or purchasers can purchase the blank or bb rounds as well. They are the ones selling it.





I'm separating this part.



I just want to say in closing. A lot of the times, people forget the First Ladies, that they have as much stake in an outcome as we the citizens have in our choices. They are the ones also who visit the cemeteries of our Veterans, maybe if their schedule allows they do other things. Sometimes they even have to visit parents who have lost their children to violence. What's not to admire about the first ladies of the US. Sometimes their families have to take a back burner for our interests. They were chosen by the people.
For the people.
No matter what you think of them they deserve your respect.
Support them. Anyone of them you choose. It doesn't have to be all of them. They are varied. They are different people, each of them has their own way to digest whats happening around them and contribute. I believe they want us in all honesty to remember them with grace. So if they have a book or something, try to buy it or support them in some other way. Even in your prayers and hearts. Likewise for our world's princesses and queens.

Thanks for reading.

Gleach or Gleaching.

A word I found appealing enough to mix "dark glasses" aka shades and teaching.

Gleach.

It may exist. For this post though I'm using it because I think its 'aight,' yu know.....

I was trying to find a word that didn't sound cliche'...I was at an event surrounded by teachers. I didn't realize how much they wore shades. It was sunny though. There you go. I was in one too. There you go again.

No matter what I think or believe, teaching has to be one of the most noblest callings right here with us. Apparently, they do a lot more than just teaching. They have rough days like everyone else. They show up as much as possible, and they teach.

They then hand students over to the next grade, hoping that that student has learned something they can take with them through life. That is culture as well. To learn is not  a bad thing, people learn in different ways its true, but to give your life to lessons, to teaching others what you know so they can be better in their lives, its quite noble.

Component.

Obviously the components surrounding me writing about this blog is because I'm only slightly nosy....not all the way. Plus adding the word "Component" to anything makes me sound "cool." Its true some things I just don't want to know, but some things I do.....like what are you guys (teachers) thinking behind the shades?

The fact of the matter is it doesn't matter what the components are. They still teach. It requires a lot of patience. If you're a special needs teacher it requires extra patience. So I personally can learn a thing or two and I support teachers.

Ninja

Literally. Just like moms, teachers hypothetically are ninjas. Ninja's they do stuff.  When you put some ninjas with some graphics together you definitely can get an entertaining karate flick as we had those in Jamaica when I was a kid oh man. Karate, graphics, those things have to be taught, someone has to show you how its done. Today, this blog is for the educators may you be blessed. Sincerely.

Quan "sung" Physics

Definition: The task of having your brain tell you that you can actually hit a certain note, but your vocal cord's not having it.

In one of my blogs, I mentioned some of the artists that are very well known. I left off a few names. For my own reasons. I just can't go around putting names on my blog when the future awaits. I write as I go along and as I feel it from the heart.

I left off a name because I knew there would be a time that I wouldn't be able to leave it out. Apparently its now...also, its not my place to tell a living Icon that they are an Icon as this is not what my blog is about. I can only write and be "fanly" but there are other people I would love to put on here too, however this is not the time nor place for it.

Its just that occasionally I have to come out of my own reservations as its the right thing to do In my opinion. It will not be a habit except I had to do it this time. I also do not like to write about people that are...well....er...you know...here with us.

I don't like to write about them due to sensitivity. I just don't want to offend anyone. But occasionally, I speak briefly and then go back to life. So for this moment and this blog, here goes...


The basis of this post stems form a girl back in my school no one knew much. It was my first or second year of "Middle School American Style"....(I don't remember which year just the details). If I remember correctly, I remember saying hi to this girl maybe a few times but she was extremely quiet and sweet.


Once when everyone was lining up to go in and enjoy one of the talent shows, she stood outside waiting for her turn to go on stage. No one knew what she was going to sing, I know I didn't. I don't remember seeing her in rehearsals.

Anyway, she stood outside and told me and my friends she was going to sing "Hero," by MC. Well, Here is a real hit!  to us, we were looking at her like she was not serious because in my opinion, no one can really sing that song without missing a note. Well, she sang it and she missed nothing. I even remember what she was wearing and her face, because when she opened her mouth, there was a gasp!

When she won the talent show, (there was a lot of competition)....it was a huge shocker. I mean she sang right past everyone, all the popular kids, all the other popular songs, she won.

No one could say nothing to her after that, and no one dared. If any of the kids were about to say something to her or bully her, no one did after that. She became instant sensation. We could only look at her with a certain type of reverence for what she was able to do. She even sounded just like the record.

I remember her because it was sort of a moment when you were listening, you wondered if she was really singing the song and she was, every last note. Every one was just wide eyed. Now if you know that song, you know that its next to impossible to get right.

Like I said, I do not mention my peers because I don't want to offend anyone so I keep my blogs the way it is, but this time I think this is worth a mention.

If you are in a category and you didn't win....you actually did, because you gave over the platform to the winner who is more deserving and you let them take it for everyone in the category including yourself. For winners, good for you....you do know that you won that for everyone right? That's just my opinion though.

There are many things that save lives in my opinion. Its just that music is one of them also. Icons need no intro. If you even happen to mention something they did without mention their names, everyone knows who you are talking about. Some of my most poignant years were in middle school. I am so grateful to have that memory. Thanks for reading.