The title may be weird but this is an important piece for me to write for myself.
I am not the type to go back in the past much but sometimes it is necessary to make a point so for this post I will edge the past as little as I can but still try to make my point.
First...do not catch some type of offense by what you see on here. This is not meant to offend you, this is my blog. No one has to read it or nothing, I'm just an artist. You do not have to take anything from here and mention nothing to no one. You do not have to quote if you do not wish to. This is just my views on several topics, and life is still beautiful and worth living.
Lets deal with the Egodique and give it a meaning shall I?
Egodique - (Ego-Deek) The practice of misidentifying with the Ego .
How do I start?
Well....As you know I was a practicing Atheist for at least fifteen years. At some point you count. There is nothing wrong with Atheism let me just say...absolutely nothing wrong.
Why? Because God already knows about it. Remember God is a free choice free will entity. He still provides us all with our daily bread. Imagine if God was an Atheist which, God is not, he would be subject to our whims, to our little ways and we wouldn't be here. If God created love, then that answers my questions.
I have to tell you as a former practicing Atheist, once bitten by Atheism, it is quite the hardest thing to detach from and that is not explainable mostly.
Its just so simple to be a non believer, it is the better option for some and God already knows why you are the way you are even if you tell no one and no one knows. There is a misconception that Atheism sends you to hell. I assure you....nothing is further from the truth. We are all judged on our individual merits by our Creator when it comes to that. So to judge the Atheist next to you is to judge yourselves. I am of the mind that people can always find their way as I did.
Sometimes, I defend the ego? (shock)
I was an Atheist remember....its quite hard to drop. I am definitely no longer an Atheist and I can not return to it. Like I said no offense its just my life after all. My choice to return to God and that did not come at a small price for me.
In my very own limited opinion, in my limited view of life....I was much more limited while practicing Atheism. I'm going to briefly tell you how Atheism made me think for those years....all fifteen of them and still spilling over now although I reject it.
1) Love is interchangeable
2) Love should be used to manipulate
3) Love is used to hurt and can be withheld to obtain self's desires
4) Life is completely a self-serving cycle
5) Forgiveness is for suckers and is a weakness
6) Weaknesses are meant to be exploited
7) If someone doesn't do anything for you, why bother help them at all?
8) It is best to put your needs above others at all times
9) Did you say loved one? Don't care, they are to be used if necessary in order to get what self desires
10) God is a failure in every way
11) God does not exist
Much more, many, many more elements. Too much to list. Too much to explain but you get my gist.
In one of my Atheist moments, I was in a class and working on a public policy paper about the "Daithe" Penalty. Yeah...I miss pelt that but I'm talking about a sentence that takes the lives of our most violent offenders.
I wrote the paper in favor.
Oh....Oh....Oh....the irony of having to walk that back.
Because I cannot believe I wrote this paper agreeing to it. Briefly, I cannot speak for states and will not. I cannot speak for no one except myself on this. When I found God somewhere in myself again, I just cannot believe in the higher powers and also believe this is the right course. So I must reject the Death Penalty for anyone no matter who. I believe life in prison is simply a better option, that's my opinion.
I know there are reasons we do not see, I know there are states that will not agree. I know that a process ensues and it is not an easy decision to come to. I know that judges who hand it down, they think and they have their own reasoning. Much respect because that is a tough one!
At the time when I was writing the paper....the professor sent it back to me imploring me to change my position. I think he sent it back two or three times. But I was an Atheist, I didn't care what this professor had to say.
I sent it back still reiterating my position. Surprisingly the professor passed the paper. Now that I think about it, why would he fail the paper knowing I would have to take the class again? Why would he want to read such a paper and deal with a student who was....well....you know.....I had my views and at the time they were what they were.
And now...my goodness. Now I just don't believe in it. But no offense to those who do. My irony is that now I am writing a blog opposing it, that is putting that ego back in check.
Thoctor - You know I mean Doctor right? M + D = Reverence for life savers all over our globe.
Plus, you are Thoctor because your degree is the highest there is....above mine.
Now back to giving you the respect you deserve.
Not only did I wish to put that ego back in check...I want to make a major apology. Yeah apologies are weaknesses too... but not for me. No one can ever say I am a non apologetic person so I'm gonna nip that in the bud right now.
I apologize to any Physician out there who is offended by the threat to your license. I am a citizen and have no business saying what I am saying, but I apologize on behalf of myself and my family, for sending you to school for nearly twelve years, ignorant of what you have sacrificed to maintain your credentials, ignorant of where you are from, what you deal with on a daily basis, the lives you save, the emergencies you fix, the cures you are working to find, the families you are helping, I apologize that we asked you for your sacrifice quite open heartedly and turned around and threatened you.
I only know some terms of MD, but not all.
1) Optometrist. (That's called, "Is something wrong with your vision? I can help you fix it...I went to school for many years to specialize in helping you".)
2) Internal Medicine. (That's called, "I'm working on a cure to see if I can cure you or make you feel better".)
3) General Practitioner. (That's called, "Come all, I can try to help you figure out what hurts and make some recommendations or referrals".)
4) Family Practitioner. (That's called, "I specialize in taking care of families.")
5) Psychiatrist, Psychologist. (That's called, "I study mind health, I know mostly all there is to know about mental disorders and will try my best to make you feel better".)
6) Surgeons. (That's called, "You may need surgery at some point, I went to school to study how to help you stay alive and healthy if you need it.")
7) Gynecologist, Obstetrics. (That's called, "I love women and babies so much I wanna make you healthy and happy.")
8) Urologist. (That's called, "I love men, lets keep them happy and healthy.")
9) Neurology. (Courtesy of Google I had to look how that one is spelt. That's called by the way...."I study brain. If there is something wrong in there, I can treat it and make you better.")
Many more specialties. Those are just a handful. Apologies again, for putting you through the ringer, and then asking you to break your life saving oath. Just know, that if you as a physician is asked to go against your oath....you are being asked, you are not choosing. Try to keep that in mind if it helps.
Lastly. Another word about a practice that is as extremely important to me as maintaining a credence. The practice of spirituality. Its very difficult because you slip all the time, because now...I believe we are meant to slip....just to show how imperfect we are, but since I revere spiritual teachers I want to make one last observation.
Remember when I said spiritual teachers may not even "shake your hand"?, anyone.....well I did say that in one of my posts. It's still true however with one exception.
The exception is this....a spiritual teacher in my opinion will not refuse a handshake unless something in them actively prevents it. Spiritual teachers are the physicians of humanity for me. They by definition are the most advanced of all of us not in a medical way, but in a spiritual way. They...know...you...
Their knowledge of humanity comes from somewhere they won't say probably, or can't even explain other than God. Or whatever higher power they believe in. In all honesty, I cannot even see them refusing a call they know was presented to them for whatever reason. So not all of them will refuse it as they know they probably should not.
My name is Tracy and welcome to my site and blog page. Thanks for stopping by. On this page I will try to catalogue some things or pivotal moments I feel have made me who I am. There may even be moments that are not so pivotal but more like a muse, a funny memory or otherwise. Be warned though, I may take things off, I may re-edit or remove things. If you happen to read something and it isn't here anymore, its because I am either re-editing, or getting ready to add something else. Also, some of the things I say on here may be understandable and some may not, and sometimes I may not blog or add anything for a while. It's okay with me if you don't understand me or what I write, I mean no ill will in my words or what I write so don't take it personal if it offends you that's just not my aim. My blog or this page is created for me, and for my fans or anyone who wants to come on here and read what I write.