By "Crasser," I mean procrastination for this post.
That time I procrastinated going home to avoid apologizing to my mom. You see, I had rebelled, was rebelling against certain rules that all mothers have.
I wanted to go to prom....but we only had church dresses and prom was on a "Friday night" meaning, close to the Sabbath if I remember this correctly. Me and my friends had all congregated by one of their houses because her mom had the best dresses I had ever seen. We were all going to borrow one....and my friend let us.
We went to prom in "style".... It was me and three others of us looking awesome. We were each other's prom dates as friends as we were best friends. That was one of the best school year of my life! And the last prom I went to as I dropped out of school. I remember it to be eight grade at Franko Middle school in Mount Vernon, New York.
But, I was not supposed to be enjoying myself like this. If I was going to enjoy myself, the best way according to my family is to do under the word of God according to my family.
Reading. Singing praises. Going to church every weekend which was sometimes kept in my two bedroom home. Making a difference in the community by passing out encouraging words and pamphlets every weekend. Mandatory.
Going to church and then going out into the community with all the church members to encourage youth every weekend.
Might I add, I was too cool, so I knew my school acquaintances were passing up and down the popular shopping block seeing me. I wasn't going to hide as I had tried hiding for so long and they still saw me. Back in school I was back to the shenanigans.
At the time handing out tracks about the Lord didn't seem like fun at all. In the end.....mom wins. I couldn't procrastinate forever. I went home and I don't remember her saying much to me so I worried for nothing. Now I see how hard as a single mother she was working to protect us and it was inexplicably difficult as we were immigrants.
Not losing faith is important. I finally started to apply to myself and my lessons to life. Besides, moms always win.....because they can't "Un-mom" themselves or rather ourselves. My mother is partly responsible for the woman I am today, but truly it is GOD who never gave up on me also. I thank my mother as much as I can. I just show up. Sometimes that's all you need to do is show up.
The trust factor.
I procrastinated in going home because I didn't trust myself at the time to face my mom and tell her I am not missing prom.
Its possible that if I had trusted myself enough to ask her, she would have absolutely let me go but I wasn't sure. I couldn't take the chances of her telling me no..... that would disappoint all my friends.
My friend had shown me a dress she wished to wear one day....a long time before the prom.....she got to wear it that day and she made us pick out of the long line of gowns and dresses for ourselves. What didn't fit we tried on until something fit. If that isn't a friend....I don't know what is! Her name is Christine.
Trust is a very important element of humanity. You know what I trust? I trust GOD above all. I trust Christ Jesus. I trust the Angels of the Realms of Heaven. I trust the Holy Bible. I trust animals to be animals. I trust nature. I trust that I will be me, I trust my mom....after all..... like I said, she can't "Un-mom" herself. I trust my children......they can't "Un-kid" themselves from me either. I trust the Prophets and Saints. I trust the sun, the moon and the stars. I trust Mother Earth and I trust the gods and goddesses loyal to the LORD God, as I am.
I am Queen Christ Tracy Ann Lisa Williams Patterson l, I can be referred to as Queen Christ or Tracy Christ; welcome to my site blog and readings page. On this page I will catalogue things and pivotal moments that have made me who I am as Christ Tracy and about my ministries. I am directed by the Holy Spirit of the LORD God of Israel at all times. Also, some of the things I say on here may be understandable and some may not be, my readings are created as the LORD God of Hosts directs me, and I am servant to the Prince of the Realms of the Heavens, Lord Jesus Christ, the crucified and resurrected also, in one with his gospels and teachings.